The impact of childhood trauma was still affecting my ability to perform and function despite being engaged in many different therapies or modalities for the best part of 15 years. I used alcohol and substances problematically to attempt to mitigate the symptoms of PTSD and got “sober” in my late 20’s. However, I turned back to using substances again a few years ago when therapy started to uncover some very painful truths. I wasn’t sure about how I felt about hypnosis, I feel like I was equal parts ignorant and skeptical. A part of me also believed that it would not work for ME, that I would somehow be resistant to it. This belief was quickly quashed after my first session with Enda. I brought all my skepticism and doubt into the first session and despite this, found that I was quickly in a deep state. I found the first session very powerful but each of the sessions since have been progressively more so. Yet I am somehow still always surprised after some major shift has happened during a session. I have experienced long standing and deeply rooted issues simply dissolve in front of me during a session. I have gone into sessions thinking that I want to address (or control ???? certain issues but found that the session guided me to a much deeper awareness and release.
I have also been surprised to discover that the sessions have helped with my meditation practice. I have held a consistent mediation practice for over 10 years. This practice was interrupted by my return to substance use but since returning to it, and coinciding with the start of my work with Enda, I have found that my approach to meditation is completely different. I feel like the process has helped me to let go of self-limiting concepts and ideas (without me being consciously aware of this process) that have helped me along the road to experiencing my true nature. It seemed as if the hypnosis was helping my meditation practice which then deepened the hypnosis sessions and so on. While it definitely helps, I don’t feel like meditation is necessary to experience the benefits of the clearing and reprogramming that can happen as a result of hypnosis. For instance, I would consider myself to be very high functioning externally but very poorly functioning inwardly. Meaning that life was exhausting. I carried around a tonne of concepts, beliefs and defences that literally weighed me down. And it was getting harder and harder to keep the show on the road. I really didn’t have the energy to turn up to life, preferring to go into avoidance instead.
What I have noticed since starting the hypnosis practice with Enda is that I am operating from a totally different perspective…...? …...mindset? …..consciousness? I am not sure of the word I want to use, but I have a lot of clarity. Because I don’t feel like I have the cloud of concepts and complexes vying for my attention, I feel free to get on and do the things that are life affirming for me. Decisions are easier and a new spontaneity is able to come through - enhancing my ability to creatively engage with life. Productivity and procrastination have always been a source of internal chaos for me. Now I feel like I am more laser focused on what I want to achieve and I have less of the story about why I can’t do it. I am able to be patient with myself when my humanness comes through. As a result, I feel like I am so much more able to engage with life in a highly effective way whilst simultaneously being deeply connected to that thing that is beyond my ability to perform. Boom!